"I'm going to file a report on all of you!" was the exclamation of one highly irritated Major Frank Burns. Burns was outraged at the fact that he had to travel to different worlds with a cat and a former C.I.A. agent and the only way Burns knew how to show his frustrations was to vent on everyone.

"Enough!" Sagwa howled, clearly annoyed. She gave Frank a hard glare and told him, "I'm sorry that I had to bring you here, I really am! But the fact of the matter is that you're a suspect in the case of my stolen story and I cannot let you go!"

As Frank was pondering a comeback, Sagwa took the time to gain her bearings. Taking a long sweep of the horizon, Sagwa saw the familiar Golden Gate Bridge of San Francisco looming in the distance across the harbor. Behind her, Sagwa saw an old cement building with peeling white paint. The setting was of a rough, rocky, desolate place seemingly void of human life.

"Where are we?" Sagwa asked, looking about her in wonder.

Jack replied without pause, "San Francisco. To be more precise we are at Alcatraz; a former high security prison that supposedly nobody broke out of."

"I see," Sagwa replied, looking at the broken down buildings. Seeing still no sign of people, Sagwa asked curiously, "Where exactly are we going to find our next clue?"

A voice with a soft, commanding tone answered the Siamese kitten, "That's a very good question. Why don't you turn around and find out?"

"Huh?" Sagwa uttered, turning around. She saw a dapper male dressed entirely in black. Sagwa's surprise turned to joy when she recognized her long-time friend, Memphis Raines, the notorious former car thief.

Sagwa greeted joyfully, "Memphis! It's you!" She watched as he took off his black shades and gave her a warm smile. Sagwa exclaimed, "Wow! It's been so long since we last chatted! I've really missed you!"

"I apologize for not visiting you sooner," Memphis told Sagwa, walking towards her. "Some old trouble came up and I had to help my brother out of a scrape."

Sagwa smiled, looking him over from head to toe, "Well, looks like you came out on top! Is everything okay with your brother?"

"Oh yeah, everything is fine now," Memphis replied. He turned to Jack and put out his hand. Memphis apologized, "I'm sorry, I'm Memphis Raines."

"Jack Brynes," Jack replied, shaking Memphis's hand. He inquired curiously, "Have we met before?"

"More than likely," Memphis replied. He chuckled, "In the chat rooms or on the forums is where you'll find me. I'm usually the one who is giving lectures to people about inaccurately describing car boosts and other car related items."

An almost forgotten voice piped up indignantly, "Seems like your typical story thief!"

Sagwa turned a scowl upon Frank and hissed, "How can you say that? You don't know Memphis at all! He may have stolen cars when he was younger but he doesn't do that anymore! He quit to make sure his kid brother didn't follow his example! How can you say that he stole my story?"

Frank grimaced at Sagwa before turning his resentful glare to Memphis. Frank crossed his arms and sighed impatiently. He growled, "So is this what you came for Sagwa, your friend?"

"Well," Sagwa replied unsurely. She glanced at Memphis and saw him patiently waiting on her next comment. Sagwa questioned herself out loud, "The book is supposed to lead me to my next suspect; but how can Memphis be a suspect? He would never steal something from me! He isn't like that!"

Frank grumbled, "Well there has to be a reason why we're here."

Memphis watched Sagwa for a sign of light in her. He then glanced at Jack and saw the same confused and pondering stare he saw in Sagwa. Memphis stated cooly, "I believe I have some information that you might want."

"You do?" Sagwa asked, brightening.

"I was told that there is a certain Mr. Body who invited selected individuals over to his house," Memphis began. "I was also told that everyone there is a suspect for murder and it was possible that one of them stole your story."

Sagwa became ecstatic at the news. She excitedly asked, "Well, what are we waiting for? Lets go!"

"Question kitty," Frank smirked, drawing attention to himself. He asked, "Just how do you plan on getting there?"

Memphis answered for Sagwa; "I have a mode of transportation to get us there."

"Lorlilei?" Sagwa inquired hopefully.

Memphis chuckled, "No, not the corvette. She is a sleek car but she wouldn't be able to handle all of us. I do have Eleanor." He gave Sagwa a small grin and winked, "Unless of course, you don't want a ride in my sixty-nine Mustang Shelby."

"I'd love to ride in her!" Sagwa exclaimed.

"Somehow I knew you'd say that," Memphis smiled. He led Sagwa, Jack, and Frank towards the ferry that ran back and fourth between Alcatraz and the mainland.

On the way, Frank hung back and muttered, "This guy knows far too much to be just your average person. Something is definitely up with him."

* * * * * * *

The gleaming chrome on Eleanor's quad wheel coverings reflected the sun's gleaming rays as she glided along the interstate east, away from the coast. The Shelby's distinctive rumble from her V-12 engine made passengers quickly look at her as the mustang cruised on by them. Eleanor was the pride and joy of the Halliwell and Raines Auto Restoration business. In fact, Eleanor was the most desirable, most elegant, and magnanimous car that ever graced the city of San Francisco.

Sagwa sat in the front passenger side of the car, resting on Jack's lap. Even though most cats would have curled up and taken a nap on such, Sagwa craved the excitement of new scenery and took the journey as a highlight of her life. Her paws rested on the doorframe and she was curiously peering out the open window. Sagwa loved the feeling of whisking along on the freeway at seventy miles per hour in the sleek Eleanor. No other feeling in the world could compare to the ride in that sixty-nine Shelby.

Fifteen minutes passed when Memphis pulled off the freeway and entered a straight highway that seemed to lead into the tree covered hills in the horizon. About two miles from their exit ramp Memphis took a left off of the highway and entered a tortuous paved road that winded up the first of the hills and into the trees.

Sagwa watched in rapt wonder at the eeriness of the temperate woods. A storm was brewing up over the hills to the east, heading in their direction. What had been a warm afternoon had suddenly turned into a gusty, foreboding one. And as Eleanor rumbled down the winding road through the forest, Sagwa began receiving an uneasy feeling.

"There's the place," Memphis announced, making Sagwa jump slightly. He pointed at the sudden clearing that revealed a magnificent mansion up ahead.

Sagwa gazed at the mansion in awe and in slight apprehension. After all, her sixth sense kept admonishing her of a potential danger that that house presented. Sagwa, continuing to gaze at the mansion, asked in a quavering voice, "Is that the house where a bunch of murderers are congregating?"

"Yes," Memphis replied in a calm voice.

Sagwa gulped. Going into a house of murderers with an approaching storm was not her idea of detective work. Her tawny face took on a shade of paleness, showing through her fur.

Memphis saw the uncertainty in his friend's eyes and tried to assure her, "I wouldn't be worried about them hurting you or any of us. They'll hardly notice us. They've got their own little mystery going on."

Frank leaned forward, catching on to the comforting tone Memphis was using with Sagwa. Frank grinned happily as he saw the kitten trembling slightly at the sight of the mansion.

"Don't tell me you're afraid Sagwa!" Frank laughed. "You're not a scaredy cat are you?"

"I am not!" Sagwa exclaimed, trying to recover her dignity. She threw a scowl at Frank and hissed, "It's just that, that," she stuttered, trying to find a believable reason why she was afraid, "It's just that this place seems so ominous! That's all!"

"Ominous," Frank breathed, thinking. "Nice choice of adjective there kitty. You'll make a good journalist yet!"

"Author," Sagwa grumbled.

Jack looked at Memphis, giving him a look that clearly read, "This is your show, do something!"

Suddenly a dark face appeared in Memphis's window and a sudden pounding shook the car. Sagwa let out a small screech while a high-pitched shriek echoed from the back seat.

Memphis put his finger in his right ear, as if acting like he had lost his hearing. Turning around, Memphis gave Frank a quick glare and agitated sigh. Frank simply shrugged as if he had no control over his actions. Memphis then focused on the person on the outside of the car.

Looking at a petrified Sagwa, Memphis smiled gently, "It's just the butler, Wadsworth. He greets all the guests here."

Memphis opened the door and stepped outside. Sagwa glanced up at Jack and gave a small smile. She chuckled nervously, "I'm not scared, really."

Jack gave Sagwa a soft pat on the head and picked her up, opening the door. Then they exited the car. Sagwa gave a quick cat yawn and stretch, regaining control over her tired body.

Memphis saw Frank still buckled in the back seat and leaned back into the car, asking, "Are you coming?"

Frank gave Memphis a look of contempt. He snarled, unbuckling, "Of course I'm coming!" Stepping out of the vehicle, Frank stated to Memphis, "I knew it was the butler all along!"

Sagwa overheard Frank's comment and shook her head. Then a voice with a slight British accent greeted her, "Sagwa the Siamese Cat! It truly is an honor to make your acquaintance!"

Sagwa bowed deeply and replied, "The same to you Mr. Wadsworth! Do you know why we're here?"

"Oh yes," Wadsworth smiled. "You're here to send everyone through the lie detector to find out if any of us stole your story." He paused, giving a discomforting smile that made the short, dark-haired butler appear menacing. Wadsworth continued, "And I must say, your stories are most riveting! Most provocative! And most sensational! I commend your writing talents!"

"Shhyuh-shhyuh," Sagwa smiled, bowing again.

"Well," Wadsworth smiled, clapping his hands together, "Shall we get in and do some interrogating?"

A thunderbolt clapped over the mansion and illuminated the area, casting threatening shadows at the four guests. Sagwa smiled through her growing anxiety and suspicion, smiling forcefully back at the butler.

Wadsworth led the group into the mansion. On the way, Frank turned to Jack and muttered, "If I get killed, I'm going to file a report on you!"

* * * * * * *

"Well that's the last of them," Jack told Sagwa, regarding his lie detector.

Sagwa sighed in frustration. She gazed at the line of suspects. There was Mrs. White, a woman clad in black who wore a scowl that Sagwa swore she was born with. Then there was Professor Plum, the glass wearing, adultery committing, physician that seemed all to familiar with the French speaking maid, Yvette. Mrs. Scarlet could be mistaken for a prostitute in Reno with her sparkling and revealing red satin dress. The wimpy homosexual Mr. Green seemed almost normal while the eccentric feather-like dressing of Mrs. Peacock seemed to complete the band in suspiscious-looking characters. Yet, through all of the individuals' odd personality and dress quirks, none were found to have stolen Sagwa's stories.

"But there has to be a reason why I'm here!" Sagwa exclaimed. She thought for a second, trying to figure out what her reason for being at the mansion could be. Then her eyes lit up as she suddenly thought of another suspect. She cried out, "Wadsworth!"

"Yes?" the butler asked, stepping forward.

Sagwa turned to him and stated, "You're the only one who hasn't been through the lie detector! You have to be my next suspect!"

"But what about your other company?" Wadsworth inquired, glancing over at Memphis and Frank. "Have you already sent them through the lie detector?"

"No," Sagwa replied, her voice fading as she glanced at Memphis. Then she told the butler, "I'll make you all go through it. Sides, what have you to fear Wadsworth? Surely you haven't stolen my story!"

"I would never do such a thing," Wadsworth smiled, his menacing grin returning.

Suddenly the lights went out and a loud crash was heard. A gunshot rang out through the still house and screams were heard. Overhead a thunderbolt struck close the mansion, filling it with a horrendous boom and shaking the walls as well.

The lights flickered before coming back on. Sagwa glanced about her and saw that she was clutching Memphis's black leather jacket. Shifting her gaze to Wadsworth, Sagwa stifled a laugh as she saw Frank in the butler's arms, wailing like a baby. Sagwa shook her head and continued to survey the room.

That's when Sagwa saw the lie detector laying in a broken heap on the floor. Sagwa gave a horrified shriek and leapt from Memphis's arms to the floor. She raced over to the machine and got there just as Jack arrived. After a quick survey of the damaged machine, Jack knew that it wasn't going to work.

"It's busted," Jack stated the obvious. "I'm going to have to repair it." He glanced at his watch and whistled, "But not right now. We have five minutes until we have to be out of here."

Wadsworth, who had been trying to free himself from Frank, simply dropped the major, stepped over him, and asked, "Am I free of charges Sagwa?"

"No, you're not," Sagwa stated apologetically. "I apologize for this inconvenience but you see, you're the only suspect from this mansion and I still have to question you. After all, you did seem hesitant about taking the test."

Wadsworth simply nodded understandingly. Frank came up to Sagwa and Jack, muttering, "Well this has been a dandy little vacation! Now I demand to be taken back to my unit at once!"

"Not so fast," Sagwa readily replied. "You're not going anywhere until I put you through the lie detector! If you are found innocent, you are free to go. But until then, you're staying with us!"

Frank crossed his arms and pouted.

Memphis walked up to Frank and handed him a yellow colored book with western-style design on it. Jack took the book and blew the dust off the book, giving it a curious eyebrow raise. Memphis explained, "I thought you guys might need that."

Frank inquired suddenly, raising his head, "You're bringing Mr. Raines along as well aren't you Sagwa?" He gave Memphis a cross frown and continued, "After all, you haven't sent him through the lie detector yet."

"He doesn't have to!" Sagwa exclaimed. "I trust my friend! He would never lie to me! He doesn't need to go through the machine! When he told me that he'd never steal anything of mine I believed him! Why? Because he's my friend and friends don't go back on their word!"

Jack interjected, "But we have to be fair Sagwa." Sagwa gave Jack a look of shock. Jack continued, "I trust your judgment as well Sagwa but we have to be fair here. If we're detaining Major Burns and Mr. Wadsworth because we haven't sent them trough the test, then we must also do the same for Mr. Raines."

"It's fine by me," Memphis told Sagwa. "I have nothing really better to do anyways." He smiled, "Sides, we get to hang out some more."

Sagwa nodded, accepting what had to be done. She then laughed, asking, "Do you think we can bring Eleanor?"

Jack opened the book. As he laid the golden book on the ground, Jack said, "Where we're going, we're not going to need cars."

"Sounds like home to me," Sagwa smiled, thinking of her pre-twentieth century Chinese palace home.

"Not quite," Jack smiled as the brilliant rainbow flowed from the book and descended on the group of five.

The glittering colors fell over Sagwa, Jack, Frank, Memphis, and Wadsworth, lifting them into the air and shrinking them as they went. Then they disappeared into the pages of the book. The book then closed.